14

Caring for my Mom, (mother-in-law) with alzheimer's disease.

Posted by ycandrea 9 years, 8 months ago to Philosophy
38 comments | Share | Best of... | Flag

Our Mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease by a neurologist. He says the onset began about 6 years ago and went untreated and there is not much that can be done at this point. He said even if caught early he could have only slowed the progress. He said that along with her memory loss, this disease is also causing a slow degeneration of her entire brain and her body. This woman raised 7 children and was a very outspoken and dominant person. She got things done! Without going into her history, needless to say it is so hard and so sad to watch as her cognitive and logical thinking becoming increasingly non-existent. And to watch her body wasting away. Her internist says she is losing muscle mass and she will not be able to walk much longer. She will become very weak and her organs will begin to fail.

My point in sharing this is to say how I cherish my mind! My ability to think logically. To take things right down to the root. To check my premise. To know that I am. I write this with tears in my eyes because I have known this woman for a very long time and I have always admired her. I will be at her side through it all and she does not even remember me. Or my husband, her son. I know my post may not be very objectivist, and kind of emotional. But I am keeping my wits about me and this blog helps me keep in touch with the best part of myself. Thank you all.


All Comments


Previous comments...   You are currently on page 2.
  • Posted by philosophercat 9 years, 8 months ago
    Here is to your will power and love. I had been an Objectivist for 20 years when my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. He died 10 agonizing years later exhausting my mother after 5 years. I studied him and held him as long as he responded. That was as long as he could squeeze my hand back. I learned something that most theorists don't pay attention to. Alzheimer's is the loss of body functions in the reverse order we learned them from potty training to where the car is parked today. The key is the Objectivist concept of focus as a volitional act. The first thing you learned was to focus your eyes. So fight for your consciousness by volitional focus. Above all it is the sense of touch that was the first gift you received from you mother and it is the most precious gift you can give when they find themselves losing themselves. Be proud of your gift of touch even when they cant thank you. Bless you.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by maxgeoac 9 years, 8 months ago
    I understand what you are going through, as I watched my Grandfather go through all stages of the disease. My mother, and aunts, were always over at my grandparent's house helping; cooking, cleaning, and taking care of both of their parents till the end. Trust me, it will not get any easier; however, the best suggestion I can make is to not allow the emotions become bottled up inside. Talk about what you feel, write, do what ever you can to let what you are feeling out. You have already taken the first step, please continue.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by helmsman5 9 years, 8 months ago
    Our hearts go out to you. I was able to take 4 years off work to personally care for my Mom who succumbed to Alzheimer's. We can care for those who did so much to make us who we are. I have bittersweet memories bathing, dressing, feeding, and even patiently participating in dementia conversations about virtual people in the yard.. Best of luck and patience with your M-I-L. I recommend googling/ reading 'The 36 Hour Day'
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by LibertyBelle 9 years, 8 months ago
    So sorry. But that's the way things happen some-
    times. Still, research is going on all the time, and,
    who knows, they might come up with a preventive
    or even a cure someday.--I doubt that it will be
    soon enough to do your beloved mother-in-law any good, but who knows?
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by $ Abaco 9 years, 8 months ago
    I'm sorry to hear this. Sorry you are going through it. I can relate.

    My son, my only son and the only one who can carry our family name, was born healthy and beautiful. At about 11 months he came down with an encephalitis that rendered him catatonic. I was so ready to teach him all I had learned in life, to launch him into the world equipped to take it on and be successful. But, our family name ends on this...

    Remember to be glad about the life your mother was able to have. It really was a gift.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by Eudaimonia 9 years, 8 months ago
    ycandrea, there are those of us here who have faced similar challenges and sorrows.
    You have empathetic ears here when you might need them.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by cranedragon 9 years, 8 months ago
    Alzheimer's is hard, and I have no first-hand experience with it, but I did watch my mother succumb to Parkinson's. I found that as bad or worse because she retained her intelligence throughout; she could measure the deterioration of her abilities without being in any way able to affect the downward slide.

    These slow degenerative diseases have always seemed to me to be the medical equivalent of the drooling beast in the Fountainhead.

    Be as gentle with yourself as you are with your M-I-L, ycandrea. Best wishes.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by khalling 9 years, 8 months ago
    Objectivists do not deny emotion. I am sorry for the stress you are experiencing and thinking the best for your mom
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by Technocracy 9 years, 8 months ago
    Thats a tough issue to deal with, you have my sympathy. We had to deal with my Father-in-law having Alzheimers. The saddest part is that as the degradation was going on, he knew it but could not do anything about it.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by Mamaemma 9 years, 8 months ago
    I think this is a reasonable post because you are stating how important is the ability to think. I am so sorry for all of you.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by 9 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    My Mom was always a problem solver and she now still tries so hard, but her solutions are just not logical. We have learned to let her do it because it makes her feel relevant instead of incredible angry if we try to stop her. Then later on we undo what she did. She doesn't remember things from 5 minutes ago. The doctors say she doesn't even realize there is anything wrong with her. I think I would rather die than have this disease.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by $ jbrenner 9 years, 8 months ago
    If there were a charity that Objectivists might find reasonable instead of altruistic, it would be to find a cure for Alzheimer's disease, a disease of the mind. Some Objectivists might find it in their own best interest even. I am about to submit a paper on self-assembly and aggregation of proteins associated with Alzheimer's disease. I was inspired to do so first by watching my father's father deteriorate. Now I am watching my own father suffer from Alzheimer's. There is a set of proteins that basically act as scavengers of amino acids and protoproteins that are no longer produced in Alzheimer's patients. A therapy for Alzheimer's that works will probably exist in 20 years, and there are already drugs that severely inhibit its progression. Hang in there, ycandrea, and don't be offended by odd behavior. Although my father still remembers names pretty well, he struggles to finish thoughts. What is odd is that he frequently wears multiple shirts or pairs of pants, and even wore two different shoes the other day. I am working on the Alzheimer's problem.
    Reply | Permalink  

  • Comment hidden. Undo