It's No Joke! Knife Control Comes To London!

Posted by $ allosaur 7 years ago to News
69 comments | Share | Flag

You've all heard the What Next After Gun Control jokes.
Knives that stab people?
Cars that run over people?
Sticks that get up and bash people?
In London Muslim and black minorities are stabbing people and throwing acid bombs.
The solution?
Search white people and arrest them for carrying anything sharp. .
Guess it goes without saying that Brit crackers shouldn't pack acid bombs either.
Multiple choice question.
The above statements make allosaur~
A. ~a mouth full of contraband.
B. ~a racist.
C. ~not a lib.


All Comments


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  • Posted by Jstork 7 years ago
    They would have fun with me.
    Let's see:
    - machetes for debranching trees
    - axes for splitting wood
    - hammers for framing
    - chisels for woodworking
    - scythe for cutting weeds
    - chainsaws
    - picks for digging clay, etc
    - field hockey stick for knocking ice off the bottom of my car
    - utility knives
    - metal pipes for projects
    and the list goes on.
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  • Posted by $ 7 years ago in reply to this comment.
    Remember, Britain is the country whose antics inspired our Declaration Of Independence over 200 years ago.
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  • Posted by $ 7 years ago in reply to this comment.
    Guess those Brit bobby buffoons would cut their own throats and that of their own families to deprive any home invaders of the satisfaction.
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  • Posted by Stormi 7 years ago
    Brits used to be eccentric, and that was fun. Now they are goofy. They implemented outcome-based ed. years ago, created a "brain drain", in their words.Then they put a Muslim in charge of BBC religious programming, also dumped Top Gear, bad chaoices. Now they are anti-knife. That just won't work here, not giving up my Ben Nighthorse Campbell knife, nor my inlaid ones, nor my Indian ones in sheaths. Husband always has a pocket knife, so do I. What next, ban hoof picks or pea shooters!
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  • Posted by Solver 7 years ago in reply to this comment.
    Even banning everything and completing a mandatory cutting off of everyone’s finger and toenails, won’t stop the violence.
    If they actually figure it out before it’s too late, they’ll survive.
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  • Posted by starguy 7 years ago
    Because no one NEEDS a semi-automatic knife!

    Sorry, I was channeling my "inner libtard", for a moment.
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  • Posted by BCRinFremont 7 years ago
    I recently purchased a 35 lb iron crow bar with a sharp end for use in tearing up my deck. I truly am nervous about a knock at the door from the local federales.
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  • Posted by $ Snezzy 7 years ago in reply to this comment.
    Your image of the "Muslim" with the sword is of course a Sikh. Sikh men are required by their religion to carry a real knife or sword. It is not merely symbolic. The London ban on knives is an offense against Sikhs.

    If they make an exception for Sikhs, then dressing as a Sikh will become the new fashion of the jihadist.
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  • Posted by $ blarman 7 years ago
    What this was linked to was an actual story where a homeowner stabbed an intruder with a screwdriver. The criminal first used it as a weapon and the homeowner reversed the use. Guess who ended up getting charged and taken to jail? The homeowner. Just insane.
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  • Posted by $ 7 years ago in reply to this comment.
    When my eyes reached "stereotypical image," me dino actually thought I was about to read of a Muslim holding a knife to a throat prior to a decapitation.
    Guess to some that would make me an Islamophobic racist.
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  • Posted by $ 7 years ago in reply to this comment.
    I would ban troublemakers that would provoke libs into calling me a racist.
    At least I'd be saving lives.
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  • Posted by $ Radio_Randy 7 years ago
    Just a few years ago, Australia began registering swords. Seems there was a rash of sword attacks, following their gun confiscation.

    And it's funny that London's mayor (a Muslim) would find carrying knives inappropriate, considering the stereotypical image of a robed Arab with a scimitar on his hip...

    I'm right up there with you in anti-PC, Allosaur.
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  • Posted by Solver 7 years ago in reply to this comment.
    Edible plates! Just grab the whole thing and stuff it in your mouth. When going tribal, may as well do it right.
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  • Posted by Herb7734 7 years ago
    Rather than banning inanimate objects, which in and of themselves do nothing without the impetus of people, if London is truly sincere, they should ban people!
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  • Posted by CircuitGuy 7 years ago in reply to this comment.
    "As if a kid can't get so mad at another kid that he'd grab oine of those."
    Yes. Exactly. One way or the other, kids must learn not to throw rocks, bullets, knives, or fists at one another. There's no way make even violent impulses disappear by just banning everything.
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  • Posted by Solver 7 years ago in reply to this comment.
    A lesson that constantly needs to be relearned. A leftist would have outlawed chop sticks.
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  • Posted by $ 7 years ago in reply to this comment.
    But someone out there would your son a bucket of river rocks to throw at shooters.
    As if a kid can't get so mad at another kid that he'd grab oine of those.
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  • Posted by $ 7 years ago in reply to this comment.
    During my 21 years as a corrections officer, me dino confiscated such weapons and have seen such wicked devices on display, beginning at the state corrections academy in Selma, Alabama.
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  • Posted by CircuitGuy 7 years ago in reply to this comment.
    My 9-y/o son and I carry pocket knives sometimes. My son's is a Craftsman utility knife. Mine's a Gerber. They taught him to use it responsibly in cub scouts. I wonder if there would be an exemption for utility knives in London. I know it's considered a major violation if my son carried it to school.
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  • Posted by $ 7 years ago in reply to this comment.
    Imagine everything being finger food in a fancy restaurant. That would be so frustrating for a connoisseur that one would want to snatch up a plate and bust it over--oops!--here comes the paper plates and plastic cups for the fine wine.
    Bon appetit!
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  • Posted by DrZarkov99 7 years ago
    I'm reminded of the story of the Chinese emperor who made civilian ownership of swords, spears, and bows and arrows illegal to try to reduce crime. He was disappointed when his mandarins told him the criminals were using kitchen implements and garden tools, so he made it a law that only wooden implements could be used in cooking, and that all garden tools had to be registered. Satisfied he had things under control, he was astonished when his mandarins reported the criminals were using chopsticks to kill and rob people. At that point he realized that it was evil people that were the problem, not the implements they used to commit crimes, and he abolished all of his weapon restrictions.
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