Qualifiers

Posted by Mamaemma 9 years, 11 months ago to Culture
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I was reading a post of Johnpe1, and he ended it with IMHO. I recognized what he was doing as I have done it a lot in my life. I call it putting qualifiers into anything I say to other people.
Some examples of qualifiers:
IMHO
Well, I may be wrong, but I think.....
I don't mean to disagree with you, but ......

My point is that in my life I have dealt with a lot of jealousy and resentment from other people, and I have tried very hard to deflect it or try to make the other person see that I am a person, too, you don't need to be jealous of me.
The hate inspired by jealousy has been a recurring theme in my life, and I wonder if any other Gulchers have encountered this. Could you tell me if this has happened to you, how it has affected you, and how you have dealt with it?
Recently a person who has fixated on me attacked me through attacking my child, and it has caused me a lot of anxiety and pain, even though in the end my child was able to overcome the considerable obstacles he put in her path in order to hurt me.
I am curious to know if jealousy is something other Gulchers have had to deal with.
And by the way, John, your opinion should be anything but humble. Your comments are intelligent and interesting and often fun.


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  • Posted by richrobinson 9 years, 11 months ago
    Great post mamaemma. My father had a business partner many years ago. She was the most disgusting person we have ever had to deal with. After buying her out of the business we had to rent our building from her for 10 years before she would sell it. When we first took over she began calling her lawyer and coming up with crazy things to accuse us of. She knew money was tight and she was trying to bankrupt us by running up our legal costs. She wanted it to look like we couldn't run the business with out her. One of the main reasons I wish I had read Atlas Shrugged much earlier in life.
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  • Posted by 9 years, 11 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Thanks for the comment, coaldigger. Now I'm going to tell you what I see, with no qualifiers. I see a man with strong opinions formed by a reasoning mind. Your comments are always intelligent and thought-provoking. I have a lot of respect for the individual your comments reveal.
    And you have just made my point when you say the fault is yours. That is the socialization that made Rearden feel guilty. I am so glad that you express your true self here.
    And I don't think you lack empathy; your comment made me feel better!
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  • Posted by coaldigger 9 years, 11 months ago
    I have had trouble with this all my life. I realize the problem is me but I don't think I can/will do much about it. The problem is: I have an opinion on just about every subject that I formed by research and reason. I am passionate about what I believe. When I was young, I stuttered and as I learned how to overcome it, I deleted unnecessary phrases from my speech. I also lack empathy and have no clue what may upset someone else when it would not upset me. If I want to discuss something I really don't know a lot about I may just pick a side and try to defend it. When logic overwhelms my assumed position, I am more than willing to acquiesce but by then the other side may be irate. I know all this is true because my wife of 52 years has told me a million times.
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