The FBI seems to be having trouble identifying terrorism/work-place violence/street-side violence and how to deal with it. I have thought hard and long, and have developed a program that will resolve all those problems:

TASK - Help FBI determine the reasons for Muhammad Youssef Abdulazeez
killing 4 Marines and injuring 3 others in TN.

1. Poverty – Middle class by US standards, very well to do by the rest of the world
standards. Recommended action – tax him and others like him into poverty so that
they will fit the expected profile.

2. Lack of education – Graduated from U. of TN with a degree in engineering.
Recommended action – Lower the education standards further to make sure that
others like him fit the expected profile.

3. Racism and racial bias against people from Arab countries.
Recommended action – Bring more people into the US from Arab countries.

4. Religious alienation – Since Muslims are discriminated against in the US, more
Muslim outreach programs are needed.
Recommended action – July should be designated as Muslim Pride month, right/left
after LGBT Pride month of June, to keep the momentum flowing.

5. Malnutrition – Specifically, trace amounts of pork.
Recommended action – Pork has already been banned at the White House and in
school lunches. It needs to be eliminated completely. Need a government-funded
study to create pork-free pork rinds.

6. GUNS!
Recommended action – Arrest, prosecute and convict all guns. Except for those in the
hands of the KGB Homeland Security, police and other government-sponsored criminals.

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