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I Met Toohey's Intellectual Daughter Today

Posted by $ SarahMontalbano 9 years ago to Education
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I've had quite a day. My father invited several of his friends over, and they brought their grandchild. Usually, I am a kid person; I like their curiosity and their playfulness. I didn't think until today that I would truly loathe a 6-year-old child.
She is a spoiled brat. She has been raised with an iPhone, a iPad, a Leapfrogger, and everything she wants on a silver platter. I was assigned to the unfortunate task of entertaining her while the adults talked.
First, I invited her to look in my room, in order to get her out of the living room. In the hallway, she saw my collection of stuffed animals (which I don't touch, but still love dearly) and begged to have some of them. I said no, over and over, and finally got her into my room, where she saw my large collection of medals hanging on the walls. She gasped and said, "Wow, you won all of that!" I was starting to forgive her because she admired achievement when she asked, "Can I have one?" I was pissed. I looked her in the eye and asked:
"What did you deserve to get a medal?"
She paused for a second, then said:
"I never win ANYTHING!"
Isn't it crazy that this spoiled little girl thought that was an adequate explanation? It's even crazier that in a mere 24 years, this girl could become a senator and start advocating for the newest plan of ultimate equality: "achievement redistribution."
After that, she begged to have some of my other toys; I surrendered two model cats, a unicorn, and a jolly rancher in order to shut her up. I felt guilty for my toys, like I had betrayed them by indulging her selfishness. It was hardly 10 minutes later that she lost interest in them (although she revived later in order to play with me for two. straight. hours). I wonder how long my beloved toys will stay intact? A week, maybe? She doesn't appreciate the kind of emotional investment I put into my toys as a kid. She didn't even thank me.
Although that was the worst part, we went downstairs and started drawing pictures. She was bossy and entitled. She kept saying things like, "We're having fun, right?" "I'm so glad you're my friend!" "Aren't you having fun?" A phrase of Ayn Rand's kept popping into my mind: sanction of the victim. I kept trying to evade the questions, hoping not to give any verbal sanction, although I felt guilty that my actions gave her a green light. All the while we were coloring she kept trying to go back up to my room; hoping to cheat me of some more of my toys, I'm sure. After I told her, frankly, nothing would make me give up more of my possessions, she said:
"How about a hundred dollars?"
I asked her what on earth a little girl like her needed a hundred dollars for. She explained that she bought things for her friends at the school store. It didn't surprise me at all that she had no respect for her parent's money, and that she thought I could be bought. I told her that some things were priceless.
After she left, I went upstairs and practiced my violin for an hour. I drilled some scales, etudes, Mozart passages, all in order to forget about it and swallow the guilt and helpless rage for my toys and my time. I was angry that she took so much of my time away, time I'll never get back and could have invested into productive endeavors. I had so much to do today; my favorite teacher's birthday is today; I was going to make a cake to show him how much I appreciate his teaching. I still need to write program notes and study for a test. Most of all, however, I was given The Romantic Manifesto as a belated birthday gift. I was dying to read it all of today.

She was a nightmare and I still feel horrible, but right then I was appreciative of the upbringing my parents gave me. I was taught the true meaning of money. I was taught to be polite and to value honest interactions with other people, and not electronics. Most of all, I was taught the value of achievement and hard work.

If you made it to the end of this, congratulations! I apologize for writing so much. To all grandparents and future grandparents: Although you may have limited time with your grandchild, do your best to prevent them from turning into this hellish little girl. Parents: You are the ones with control. Teach your children your values. I pity this girl, because she wasn't taught any better. Don't let the public schools spoil your precious child's ideology and mind. Take their learning into your own hands and teach them in Ayn Rand's footsteps.


All Comments


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  • Posted by $ rockymountainpirate 9 years ago
    Have you told your parents about this experience? They need to know. If the friends return they can ask them to either leave the little creature at home, or bring her own toys. Clearly the grandparents weren't interested in spending much time with her as they had an extended visit with your father.

    I am unclear on 1 point. Did you let her play with your toys while she was there and under your supervision, or did you 'give' them to her and she left with them.

    Don't take the unearned guilt of this spoiled child. You didn't do it, and it's not your responsibility to fix it.
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  • Posted by Ben_C 9 years ago
    This is a systemic problem in our society. I live in a very liberal town and observe this entitlement behavior in most of my teenage daughters friends. Being a parent is not an easy task. My son from my first marriage rebelled as most son's do against their fathers but in the end he has become a very productive person. My daughter is nearing the age of rebellion and I hope she discovers her parents wisdom sooner rather than later. She will be required to read Ayn Rand as well as the other side of today's mainstream media dialogue. The rest is up to her.
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  • Posted by IndianaGary 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    The word that comes to mind that describes Toohey, is "sly". Your example of how he would have handled her toys was perfect. Toohey is a manipulator of people. If a person has a weak spot, Toohey finds it and pries. He is interested in power over people and nothing more. The antidote to Toohey is to see him for the evil that he is and deny him your sanction.
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  • Posted by Mamaemma 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    Bingo! "That is the beginning of a very corrosive way of thinking". Very insidious, too. Good point.
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  • Posted by CircuitGuy 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    "I did my best to keep her off the d_mn things while I had her. I tried to be a good influence, but I know four hours will do little to nothing to change her thinking."
    That sounds like a succinct summary of the sad situation.

    It's hard to know because I didn't see the mannerisms, but much of it sounds like normal 6-y/o behavior. Just a few years ago, a 6-y/o rightly had all her needs met when she cried. She's just starting to learn she's entering a stage where she has to trade with others. The concept that she should clear her dishes instead of waiting for someone else is new to her. The concept of money or how much work $100 represents is abstract and probably beyond well her. Even the concept of playing together and finding games that are fun for both parties is new to her. Kids younger than that don't really play together. I see my kids (5 and 7) working out how when they want to play different games they can play independently or find some game that they'd enjoy playing together.

    You suggest the parents haven't even started teaching her this, which is sad for the child.

    Dealing with kids this age is hard work. People who wouldn't expect you to do a four hours of repair work for free think nothing of assigning the task of childcare to you. It makes it harder if they don't give you clear authority to take away the electronics, set the kids straight if they hit, steal, or expect everyone to put the kids' desires ahead of everyone else's.

    Unless you happen to enjoy watching 6-y/o and just have a desire to do it, it would be better IMHO for the child's guardians to call Nanny Connections or someone like them and get a nice person who at least claims to love watching and playing with children for $20/hr. Having another set of hands around wouldn't preclude you or other adults from interacting with the children.

    That probably won't happen, and you're left with the unenviable choices of a) spending four hours gently reminding/showing a 6-y/o that the world doesn't revolve around her or b) just letting her zone out on a tablet and shuddering to think what not learning normal human give-and-take is doing to her development.

    It sounds like you need to find a way to say politely that they need to find someone who wants to provide this service because you don't feel like doing it. It's hard to say, but IMHO it needs to be said, preferably with tact. I feel like people expect you do it because "it should be a labor of love, something you put ahead of whatever you would do with that time because good people want to care for children for the sheer joy of it." That is the beginning of a very corrosive way of thinking. I'm not sure of the best tactful way to handle it, but letting someone assign a brat to you for 4 hours seems wrong.
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  • Posted by $ jbrenner 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    Not only do kids get the wrong values at the government indoctrination centers, but they also watch the trash on TV. One summer afternoon, I came home early from work and found my daughter watching "Sixteen and Pregnant". She said it was so that she could laugh at them, but undoubtedly some of it rubs off.
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  • Posted by khalling 9 years ago
    Also, have you considered applying for a scholarship to the Atlas Summit in Vegas this July? I think you would enjoy meeting other like-mined people your age. There are some great classes.
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  • Posted by $ Olduglycarl 9 years ago
    And there we have the problem and the answer in one felt swoop! accountable responsibility for what one has created and it's effects upon the future.
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  • Posted by ohiocrossroads 9 years ago
    So will there be a next time for taking care of the Little Princess? What would you do make her understand that to get something of value, she has to earn it? I'm thinking of something similar to Arnold Schwarzenegger running "Police School" with the 5-year-olds in Kindergarten Cop.
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  • Posted by Mamaemma 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    I seem to remember that as a young boy Toohey took the blame for something just to make the other kid look bad. There is a difference between spoiled and entitled and evil. Interesting distinction, K Edit: clarity
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  • Posted by term2 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    It was probably more of them watching you live your life that influenced them. Congrats.
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  • Posted by khalling 9 years ago
    I think there are great comments here. and I wish you some peace this week. I wanted to talk about your title though. "Toohey's Intellectual Daughter" although clever, is it accurate? Think of his niece, Katie. She did not present as spoiled. In fact, she was cowed by her uncle. This little girl is spoiled and clueless. She may learn better manners-probably not, too entitled. But Toohey? I imagine he would have been raised with some discipline and his manipulative ways were not displayed on his sleeves. He was careful. The kind that might have stolen one of your toys when you weren't looking and then left it broken for you to find. Careful, sneaky, getting a kick out of destroying. Yes, this little girl was a pain. but one day you will meet that child or adult who understands the long game and wants to take advantage of your good nature.
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  • Posted by Mamaemma 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    Not necessarily. I had my kids read Fountainhead and Atlas as young teenagers, and it soaked into their consciousness just like it did mine. They are now in their late 20s, and have not undone any of that yet. (fingers crossed)
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  • Posted by term2 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    That kid needs to just be adopted by someone in Norway and live there. I wouldnt want her in the USA to subvert our values at all.
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  • Posted by term2 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    Try and train your horse, but if its then allowed to run free with wild horses , it will undo what you have done.
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