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Can friendship or any relationship be unconditional?

Posted by rashisway 7 years, 3 months ago to Philosophy
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Any relationship deemed unconditional is meaningless. If a person enjoys unconditional support from another, it implies that the support comes without any cost, irrespective of the actions, ideas, thoughts and choices of another. Since these are the very core of someone's identity, unconditional relationships are basically independent of the people involved, thus proving to be meaningless.
This came from an episode that happened a while ago, where someone claimed that a friend is not supposed to argue or oppose one's actions but support them. What amazed me was, this is actually accepted among the masses. What has happened to common sense and the basic concept of right and wrong among people? When I read Atlas Shrugged, I thought, Ayn Rand has depicted certain exaggerated versions of people in order to emphasize the importance of what she is conveying. I never thought I would actually see the Jim Taggarts, Bertram Scudders and Simon Pritchetts, and Philip Reardens coming to life. I used to think that her words just ring true when you read them and would happen to everyone who read it. I mean why would anybody identify with Jim Taggart and not try to change himself after having clearly been shown the right kind of people. Now, coming in touch with people in college I realise how terribly faulty was that thought.


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  • Posted by $ gharkness 7 years, 3 months ago
    I have long said that NO relationship is unconditional, except that of parent and child (and then only for those who deem it so).

    So there's not really anything my kids could do that would make me sever my relationship with them (that's my CHOICE) - although there are certainly things I could do that would have that result, and justifiably so. After reading the rest of the comments, I'd like to append: certainly, just because I love them without condition - that doesn't mean I will put up with anything they choose to do, or accept any way they might decide to treat me. But the love will always be there...whether demonstrated or not.

    However, voluntary relationships (husband and wife, especially) cannot be unconditional and continue to have value, unless one or the other partner is willing to put up with ANY behavior from the other, and would continue the relationship regardless (at that point, "value" is meaningless). Given the ~50% divorce rate, whether people choose to recognize it or not, marriages (and other romantic relationships) are never unconditional.

    BTW for me and my husband, this is an EXPLICITLY STATED fact. Our marriage is not unconditional.
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  • Posted by tdechaine 7 years, 3 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Family relationships should not be unconditional either. But one can certainly be more patient with them and do more to help them improve.
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  • Posted by edweaver 7 years, 3 months ago in reply to this comment.
    A relationship is only a relationship if there is a mutual exchange. Being related is not a relationship.
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  • Posted by 7 years, 3 months ago
    Another aspect of this rejection of criticism by 'friends' is the fact that people no longer think about right and wrong, they don't believe in reasoning and logic. So according to the new laws of friendship, you cannot criticize because what is wrong to you, is right to them. You are just supposed to accept another's nature and bear with it. If you do, you are a 'great' friend. What has gone wrong with the world? How can they not see through this crap?
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  • Posted by $ Olduglycarl 7 years, 3 months ago in reply to this comment.
    That is a parents obligation and duty to correct the child's behavior but at it's core, that relationship is a result of birth, therefore the relationship is not dependent upon conditions.

    I think we are using "relations" differently.

    In my mind, the only relationship that is unconditional or what some call, "Unconditional Love", only exists between living matter and that which that caused it to exist in the first place...doesn't matter if it was chance, purposed or consequential.
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  • Posted by 7 years, 3 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Family relations are conditional as well. If they weren't, no parent would ever bother to influence or correct their child's behaviour.
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  • Posted by edweaver 7 years, 3 months ago in reply to this comment.
    If family relationships were unconstitutional, wouldn't they always get along? Wouldn't they treat each other as good or better than say, friends or strangers? It seems to be the opposite, at least from my experience.
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  • Posted by $ Olduglycarl 7 years, 3 months ago
    Relationships between family members, in essence, are unconditional; meaning, that relationship exists regardless of conditions.

    Friendships on the other hand, are by definition, conditional...unless there is a condition that binds them, ie, one own's the other for one's life or condition of life but even those friendships can and are broken.
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  • Posted by richrobinson 7 years, 3 months ago
    Interesting. My first thought was that if it is unconditional then do you really care about this person? Would you watch them hurt themselves over an over and say nothing? The "unconditional" part has to have limits.
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