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Caring for my Mom, (mother-in-law) with alzheimer's disease.

Posted by ycandrea 9 years, 8 months ago to Philosophy
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Our Mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease by a neurologist. He says the onset began about 6 years ago and went untreated and there is not much that can be done at this point. He said even if caught early he could have only slowed the progress. He said that along with her memory loss, this disease is also causing a slow degeneration of her entire brain and her body. This woman raised 7 children and was a very outspoken and dominant person. She got things done! Without going into her history, needless to say it is so hard and so sad to watch as her cognitive and logical thinking becoming increasingly non-existent. And to watch her body wasting away. Her internist says she is losing muscle mass and she will not be able to walk much longer. She will become very weak and her organs will begin to fail.

My point in sharing this is to say how I cherish my mind! My ability to think logically. To take things right down to the root. To check my premise. To know that I am. I write this with tears in my eyes because I have known this woman for a very long time and I have always admired her. I will be at her side through it all and she does not even remember me. Or my husband, her son. I know my post may not be very objectivist, and kind of emotional. But I am keeping my wits about me and this blog helps me keep in touch with the best part of myself. Thank you all.


All Comments

  • Posted by handyman 9 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    I'm sorry to hear of your situation. I can sympathize as my sister, wife and I cared for my mother for 3 years as she slowly sank deeper and deeper into the void that is Alzheimer's. One thing to keep in mind is that it is often much worse for the caregivers than for the patient. The patient often, as you have observed, know there is a problem. Also, be sure to take care of the caregiver - seek out support resources and be sure to give yourself some respite time.
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  • Posted by johnpe1 9 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Abaco, I am the last carrying my family name. . I tried hard to make
    a family in this life, but failed. . my sister, however, has two great
    kids, and she's passing on the line. . the name dies with me, though.
    it's a curious thing that brings tears to my eyes, yet truth is truth....... -- j
    .
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  • Posted by johnpe1 9 years, 8 months ago
    my wife's father went down the same path -- it was all we could do
    to hold on to him as he faded away. . we just loved him and tried
    hard to mention things which would keep his brain active.
    Hang In There, Andrea!!! -- j
    .
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  • Posted by Herb7734 9 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    You will always know that the feelings expressed were made not in order for the person who expresses them to look good to others

    Mamaemma: That was a great post.
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  • Posted by Mamaemma 9 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    And because those emotions are based on rational thought and values,those emotions are deeper and more meaningful and real.
    Edit:sp
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  • Posted by cjalgire 9 years, 8 months ago
    My Mom (now deceased) watched her Mom go thru the physical, mental, and emotional changes from Alzheimers for 10 years.
    Mom's solution: she helped lead a support group. She worked with the Chicago Alzheimers chapter. She kept up with latest news and at the same time, offered support and suggestions to care givers.
    Please consider joining a support group, the emotional strain you feel just MAY be helped by joining others in the same situation.
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  • Posted by $ Olduglycarl 9 years, 8 months ago
    I work at Connecticut Hospice. Even though I do not have much contact with the patients, I will tell you that what ever conscious time you have with your loved one is valuable.
    Hospice bought a beautiful piece of property on the sound. We have made it a place for emotional healing for families and patients alike.
    Due to the fact that mankind has become conscious, times like these are most distressing but you have an opportunity here to make it a time you will remember fondly.
    I sense that is what your wishing for.
    Take care...
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  • Posted by $ jdg 9 years, 8 months ago
    Did that. It was horrible to see my father's brilliant mind turn stupid, and nothing could be done about it. I'm not sure if I'd want to live any longer once it started to happen to me.
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  • Posted by wiggys 9 years, 8 months ago
    Regardless of the ultimate cause of a loved ones death it is just something we all for the most part have to deal with. Having been there I support you.
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  • Posted by term2 9 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    I am very tired of feeling that way. I am so DONE with providing a living to these moochers, fighting their wars, and having them feel they are entitled to it all
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  • Posted by term2 9 years, 8 months ago
    And our illustrious president spends trillions on wars and military exercises in places in which we have no business being- all the while wasting the money that we could be spending on medical research to eliminate these terrible diseases. I guess these government people think they will never grow old and suffer problems like this. Except for defense on your home turf, wars are pretty stupid.
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  • Posted by $ Abaco 9 years, 8 months ago
    Has anybody else seen the recent development of using ultrasound to break up the plaques associated with this disease? It sounded very promising!
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  • Posted by 9 years, 8 months ago
    I want to thank each and every one of you for your kind words and thoughtful insight and especially those who shared their own experiences in dealing with this insidious disease. My husband and I are in our 60's and Mom is 88. Caring for my Mom in our retirement gives us both something very worthwhile to do. It has also reinforced in me to appreciate all that I have and especially a mind to know it. Again, thank you all.
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  • Posted by blackswan 9 years, 8 months ago
    These doctors may have some treatments that will help your mom; given that her doctor has given up hope, you have nothing to lose, and if it works, everyone wins. The doctors, who you can google, are:
    Lorraine Day
    Joel Wallach
    Russell Blaylock
    Check them out, and see what you see. I hope it helps.
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  • Posted by $ Abaco 9 years, 8 months ago
    Your experience and mine point out this KEY POINT. It's what's between the ears that make the man. People, in general a WAY too cavalier about this. From the drugs we take, to the sports we engage in, to our addiction to television. I came to realize this in dealing with what happened to my son. I wish I had realized it earlier. I was just asked yesterday by a young man if, given the chance to go back in time, would I have worked through my football career. Without hesitation, "no". I have lost friends and old teammates in what should have been their prime. We used to celebrate concussions...
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  • Posted by NealS 9 years, 8 months ago
    My condolences, experienced the same thing with my mother after my dad passed away. Fortunately for me, my sister took care of her until she passed away. I was about the only one she still remembered. Then she fell and broke a hip, and things all started downhill really fast. I thanked God when she died, she always said she missed her man, my dad, and now they would be together again. The experience made us all realize what a nasty disease this really is. Think about the good times and laugh as much as you can, it really helps.

    My dad always said he was worried about her, that her mind was failing and he was afraid for her that he would go first. He was the lucky one, he passed away with his pockets bulging with quarters in Las Vegas while pulling handles. When mom called me from Vegas to tell us, she was in tears, but her only question was, "Do I have to claim his winnings on my income tax?" They always won when they went to Vegas, and always got something new from it, a new car, a new washer/dryer, new clothes, or something for their kids or grandkids. Those are the memories I cherish, I'll never give them up.
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  • Posted by Herb7734 9 years, 8 months ago
    It is not irrational to care for someone you love. Depending on the circumstances, expressing sympathy, empathy, or emotion under the circumstances you describe is perfectly valid. Of late, I have revealed in this forum my recent trip to the hospital, my advanced age, and ancient (60th) anniversary. The outpouring of support, congratulations, and good wishes was nearly overwhelming. Objectivism is not, as some would have one believe, a philosophy sans emotion. It is a philosophy of properly posited emotion.
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