Can friendship or any relationship be unconditional?
Posted by rashisway 7 years, 3 months ago to Philosophy
Any relationship deemed unconditional is meaningless. If a person enjoys unconditional support from another, it implies that the support comes without any cost, irrespective of the actions, ideas, thoughts and choices of another. Since these are the very core of someone's identity, unconditional relationships are basically independent of the people involved, thus proving to be meaningless.
This came from an episode that happened a while ago, where someone claimed that a friend is not supposed to argue or oppose one's actions but support them. What amazed me was, this is actually accepted among the masses. What has happened to common sense and the basic concept of right and wrong among people? When I read Atlas Shrugged, I thought, Ayn Rand has depicted certain exaggerated versions of people in order to emphasize the importance of what she is conveying. I never thought I would actually see the Jim Taggarts, Bertram Scudders and Simon Pritchetts, and Philip Reardens coming to life. I used to think that her words just ring true when you read them and would happen to everyone who read it. I mean why would anybody identify with Jim Taggart and not try to change himself after having clearly been shown the right kind of people. Now, coming in touch with people in college I realise how terribly faulty was that thought.
This came from an episode that happened a while ago, where someone claimed that a friend is not supposed to argue or oppose one's actions but support them. What amazed me was, this is actually accepted among the masses. What has happened to common sense and the basic concept of right and wrong among people? When I read Atlas Shrugged, I thought, Ayn Rand has depicted certain exaggerated versions of people in order to emphasize the importance of what she is conveying. I never thought I would actually see the Jim Taggarts, Bertram Scudders and Simon Pritchetts, and Philip Reardens coming to life. I used to think that her words just ring true when you read them and would happen to everyone who read it. I mean why would anybody identify with Jim Taggart and not try to change himself after having clearly been shown the right kind of people. Now, coming in touch with people in college I realise how terribly faulty was that thought.
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So there's not really anything my kids could do that would make me sever my relationship with them (that's my CHOICE) - although there are certainly things I could do that would have that result, and justifiably so. After reading the rest of the comments, I'd like to append: certainly, just because I love them without condition - that doesn't mean I will put up with anything they choose to do, or accept any way they might decide to treat me. But the love will always be there...whether demonstrated or not.
However, voluntary relationships (husband and wife, especially) cannot be unconditional and continue to have value, unless one or the other partner is willing to put up with ANY behavior from the other, and would continue the relationship regardless (at that point, "value" is meaningless). Given the ~50% divorce rate, whether people choose to recognize it or not, marriages (and other romantic relationships) are never unconditional.
BTW for me and my husband, this is an EXPLICITLY STATED fact. Our marriage is not unconditional.
I think we are using "relations" differently.
In my mind, the only relationship that is unconditional or what some call, "Unconditional Love", only exists between living matter and that which that caused it to exist in the first place...doesn't matter if it was chance, purposed or consequential.
Friendships on the other hand, are by definition, conditional...unless there is a condition that binds them, ie, one own's the other for one's life or condition of life but even those friendships can and are broken.