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63 Years

Posted by Herb7734 6 years, 8 months ago to Culture
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Sixty-three years. Just think of it, many people don't even live that long.On August 14th, the BW and I will have been married for that length of time..You might ask, as many have, was it "happily ever after?"Of course not. No one gets through life unscathed. We've had our ups and downs on the roller coaster called life. We are often asked what the secret to a long marriage is.and we both respond, "Damned if I know."There is,however, one thing we know for sure, and that is, there has to be a very strong love, because that 's the only thing that keeps murder or suicide from happening. Also, love creates a degree of tolerance that would be otherwise impossible to sustain. I also keep certain writings, poems, mottos, and aphorisms close that I can fall back on when my glum meter swings to negative .Last, but in no way least, is a good sense of humor, because without it one would be doomed to hell on earth.There are positives. To face life's hardest times with a partner who is an intellectual equal.To know that regardless of any circumstance, there is a person to whom, no matter what, is on your side and can be rational when you are not and you's like to give in to your emotions and @#$%$#@!! that no-good *&^%$%^&!!! So..what's your story?I could be (and most likely is) very different from mine.Come on, it is life lesson time.


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  • Posted by 6 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Yes. Human relationships. Too complex to understand fully.But the hero seeking hero paradigm holds up pretty well. Doesn't mean that you won't get roasted a bit on the rotating barbecue spit of life.
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  • Posted by 6 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    It turned out that I had instinctively followed the Rand instructions. First you must consider yourself to be a hero. You will then seek out a woman who is also a hero. Nothing at all is as important no matter what.
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  • Posted by 6 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    I was fortunate. It was as if Marilynn was picked out for me. I was invited to be an usher at the wedding of a childhood friend. I had known her since age 5 or so. The family was very rich and my father was hoping for a uniting, but we both knew we would never marry. We were too familiar with each other. Anyhow, I decided to go to an Arthur Murray Studio and get dancing lessons so I could be Mr. Cool at the party.The girl they paired me with was a pleasant kid who couldn't dance a lick. At one place at the edge of the dance floor a group of young ladies stood around.The were the wedding crashers. One of them was tapping her foot almost unable to stand still. An obvious choice. I asked her to dance and introduced myself (in that order). A miracle! No matter what stupid moves I made she was able to follow and even improve making me look as if I actually knew what I was doing. Later, we went out to a club and danced until 2 am. The rest is history. Luck? Magnatism? subliminal recognition? Who knows. That was a pair of 19 year olds over 65 years ago.
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  • Posted by jimjamesjames 6 years, 8 months ago
    I like that, Herb: 'Love creates a degree of tolerance." Congratulations on the 63.
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  • Posted by exceller 6 years, 8 months ago
    Congratulations, Herb!

    I can only tell that my parents had it. I wasn't that lucky. Apparently it did not come through the genes.

    I am happy for you: yours is one of the exceptions rather than the rules.
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  • Posted by coaldigger 6 years, 8 months ago
    First of all, Happy Anniversary. It is a great thing to have a partner in life that sticks with you for that long. We are working on our 56th year and like you, have had ups and downs but we are still together and probably closer than we have ever been. I think success goes back to the reason why you got married in the first place. Physical attraction, status, friendship, convenience, duty, etc. are not strong enough to last through life's troubles. In our case, I still don't know why she married me but I married her because I knew I wanted her to be the mother of my children. We were too young to get married but circumstances were going to separate us and I didn't want to lose her so we got married when I was still in college.

    Now 55+ years, 4 kids and 6 grandchildren later life is pretty good. People remark about the closeness of our family, the success of the adults and children and how well they have done. It all goes back to that great mother that raised them while I flew out on Monday and back on Friday chasing a career and earning what it took to raise them and send them to college. I could write a book about the bumps along the way but I never doubted that we would end up taking care of each other in our old age.
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  • Posted by DeangalvinFL 6 years, 8 months ago
    love, because that 's the only thing that keeps murder or suicide from happening.
    I laughed for a minute straight!!!!!!!
    Happy Anniversary brother.
    Not much special in my story; ups and downs, lots of almosts, cried too much along the way, and now don't cry at all which is perhaps the worst of all.
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  • Posted by freedomforall 6 years, 8 months ago
    Happy Anniversary to you and your "better half", Herb. ;^)
    Still looking for mine. That's my story.
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